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Those who follow Parenting Energies, know how I feel about parents taking the time to learn about why we need to eat fresh food that grows in front of our eyes. I teach how important it is for parents to teach their children that it’s simple to grow and eat real food and that it’s easy to decipher the difference between REAL FOOD and FOOD-LIKE PRODUCTS (or FAKE FOODS) - and to even turn this deciphering into a fun game with children.

Like many parents, I experienced a very common detachment from the food-growing process in my childhood, teen and early-adult years (sure, I played a part in a home vegetable garden, egg collecting and mulberry picking). Like many young adults, I was trained to buy food from the supermarket… the fancy packaging and cheaper prices equaled better buys.

It took for my stunning 6yo Rhodesian Ridgeback to pass away from a poisoning in the blood, ‘perhaps cancer’, whereby her liver and kidneys failed and she collapsed before my eyes, for me to discover through my own research and enquiry that what we put into our bodies MAKES A DIFFERENCE. My research moved past the ideal dog’s diet (which I learned is NOT dog biscuits!) and what I would always do to ensure optimal health in my pets, to the food I was putting into my own body and my children’s bodies.

I learned about the problems with pre-prepared foods that had traveled thousands of klm’s and been packaged with additives, or had been treated with heat and refined so heavily that all the nutritious content was gone – and some of the ingredients had even turned toxic! Common foods that we ate very day – starting with cooking oils, through to table spreads, to sauces, to milks, and meats. I threw out many items in my pantry without a care to the cost. That food no longer had a place in our life.

I also learned about the problem with our society’s over-consumption of, and addiction to, the commodity sugar. I studied and reported on my experience overcoming sugar-addiction, and the results within our family in advancing on to real sweet foods (aka, fruit) that have amazing benefits – for our body’s health as well as our mental health.

I have witnessed the complete and devastating unawareness of many influential people in society (teachers, doctors, specialists, parents), as they, without malicious intent and as a result of their own training and upbringings, support our children in their assumption that our bodies can tolerate eating ANYTHING.

In so many ways, our society supports us in eating recklessly. For many, it doesn’t matter what goes in the body so long as the stomach ends up full and our craving for ‘sweet’ is satisfied. If it’s on the shelf at the shops, it must be alright. (And for shop-keepers: if the customer wants it, it must be supplied).

This is a society that teaches our children that healthy food is gourmet and expensive. That cheaper, colourful food made with sugar and paint is a ‘special treat’. That food comes out of packets. That cakes, chips and biscuits are more fun and tasty than fruit and vegetables and are OK to have as ‘sometimes foods’ for special occasions (worse still, for a bribe to work). A society that has completely forgotten that the word JUNK FOOD or TRASH was created for these fake-foods because they are quite literally not food and would be better put INTO THE BIN. And a society that has failed to teach our children that our bodies are not rubbish bins! Our bodies are the most important houses we will ever live in. Our bodies are the only house that will ever matter.

From a parent’s perspective, I’ve learned, and I continue to study, that our bodies are designed to eat fresh natural foods to function optimally for a positive, happy and enjoyable life – fruit and vegetables, honey, sea vegetables, etc. I’ve learned clever ways to increase our children’s passion for eating healthy real foods and for teaching them to say “NO” to fake food because we care about US.

And now, I’m so thrilled to share that I have published a fabulous, quality children’s book, after all these years of study and strategic testing of how to communicate to children that Real food is Wonder-Full.

I love the messages I have so passionately written in this book. I have never felt more passionate about anything in my life. Every word was carefully written, re-written, pondered over, to pass on to our most loved, treasured gifts, that the environment LOVES THEM and PROVIDES THEM the food their body is DESIGNED TO EAT. This illustrated Children’s Story, which is all about the growing process and the magic of real food, imparts a message of ‘giving thanks for our food’ to instil positive thoughts and beliefs in our children. It takes our children on an adventure through the garden to see the magic and wonder of real food growing. It teaches them that we need to care for our environment and appreciate the process, as it is what will support us in our long and happy lives.

Dusty’s Wonder Bug is a 40-page illustrated large-format book in print, with an audio CD in the back cover that features me reading the story and playing the piano. The audio CD runs for 15 minutes and is a peaceful rest-time melody, which often puts my children to sleep as we drive in the car or cuddle in bed.

When it came to the printing of this book, my husband and I decided to bypass printing off-shore in China with a cheaper rate, and instead support local workers and receive an exceptional Australian-first-class product. The biggest concern for me was the process of producing the book and ensuring the paper was sourced using Australian forestry-approved standards. We ensured that we had the Australian Forestry Approved guarantee. Rather than outsource the task of Illustrating to cheap and competitive websites off-shore, I proudly recruited an Australian friend and former colleague for the best-quality illustrations I could get. Bryn Rayfield, as you will see in this book, has created sensational pictures that are being adored, right now, by a dozen children who already have their copy. Bryn Rayfield has made this wonder-full dream a reality and I will be grateful to him forever.

Please click the link below to be re-directed to the Kinder Energies website where you can watch a youtube trailer of the book (get a glimpse inside), and order your copy.

Dustys-Wonder-Bug-Promotion-Banner

A few years ago I discovered a cheap product for toddlers that is not known by everyone. Opening up the packaging to give a toddler a taste, as I discovered first hand, was the answer for many little challenges I had with my toddler during the day – even those challenges that impacted on other people.

Like most other mums, I knew only a handful of people who knew about this product. We gave each offer knowing smiles when we saw each other opening up the packaging.

This remarkable product has been available for toddlers for a while but I think it has missed out on marketing because there really isn’t enough money in it – it just doesn’t generate high profits $$ for retailers.

Why is it not well known by everyone? Well you know what society is like with any products that are used for parenting. There’s judgement, ‘I never used that and my kids were just fine,’ questions about the safety, ‘is it natural? Is it organic?’, the price and commitment to using it frequently, ‘how do you manage it?’, and the packaging, which might not suit everyone’s tastes. Then another reason we don’t all know about it, or know about it but don’t use it, is because it is easily substituted with other like products that are quite acceptable for toddlers. There’s also the social norm and what people have learned from their parents, teachers and peers, to feed their toddlers. For some it’s a matter of what it is physically possible to feed their toddler, depending on what the child already has a taste for, or physical/medical/logistical/financial reasons.

So, this amazing product has many features and benefits – strangely it’s not all written on the packaging, perhaps it should be.

A small dose can do the following for a toddler:

- soothe a sore throat
- satisfy thirst
- soothe pain on gums from teething
- pain relief from ear-ache
- relief from high temperature and fever
- pain relief for cuts and abrasions, bruises and burns (it can even be used to cure conjunctivitis)

The manufacturer made it taste sweet so the toddler loves to drink it, of course. Human nature is to be attracted to sugar, all manufacturers of medicine know this.

Cleverly, the manufacturer added to the mixture a hormone-stimulant especially for toddlers to help them feel happy, as well as to feel calm, relaxed and even sleepy. Clinical research showed the powerful effects for putting children to sleep within 10 minutes of a drink of this stuff! That’s without any sleep training, tears, scheduling or behavioral patterning. No stress to the parent or child whatsoever!! A parent’s dream, really.

Then to make it even better, the manufacturer packed it full of vitamins and every other possible natural mechanism to prevent free radical damage within the body that is brought about by viral and subsequently developed-bacterial infections – starting with colds/flu prevention – to other serious diseases and even to cancer prevention. These mechanisms also help to create a more stable and active brain in the child, so in later life they can contribute both intelligent and creative ideas to their society. Wow!!

Further studies proved how useful (from a social/emotional/cognitive developmental view) it is to regularly give the toddler a small sip, because it gives the toddler a necessary time-out, or opportunity to draw away from the challenging learning social environment, to calm down and feel emotionally secure and safe. It teaches children to give themselves a break instead of fighting or warring with others (a good skill to learn for life if we want a peaceful world!) and to even enjoy a meditative experience, which resets the flight-and-fight response (the relax response) to reduce stress (the number one killer in the world) and to also improve brain activity – thus improving every cell in the body IMMEDIATELY.

I was told by a scientist that the association the toddler makes between the packaging and the resulting effects (pain-relief, emotional security, calming down or sleepiness) is nothing short of a scientific miracle, considering the child is so young. It can stop a tantrum or tears quicker than you can click your fingers, which in my opinion is something everyone in the public can benefit from – I’m pretty sure that people have preferred to see me calm down and soothe my toddler with this small drink then to see us struggle with tiredness in public, from the smiles they give me.

I suppose a toddler pointing at this special package is no different to a sick child pointing at a bottle of medicine – they know it works, it is encouraged by the educated parent as a problem-solver, and it tastes amazing too.

After extensive market research and testing, I heard that the manufacturer decided to shape the mouth-piece to be flexible, soft and to feature its own sealing mechanism so it can’t spill the liquid. (Clever, because it can sometimes take a lot of effort and special operating processes to produce it). This mouth-piece material can even withstand chewing and bites from teething toddlers. It really is a very remarkable design. Actually the design copied a dummy (or rather, the designers of the dummy copied this design as this product was already successful when then dummy was invented).

The design of the product fits in with a mother’s needs, too. The mother can easily carry it around without worrying about it reaching an expiry date. If she is tired and wants to rest, or even sleep, the toddler can still access this product through the safe packaging. There’s no risk of overdose or choking, at any age, don’t worry. And the toddler will not put on weight, be malnourished or have concerning cholesterol or diabetes levels as they might from over-consumption of other sweet products.

It’s just like the mother’s body was created to use this product, actually, because when a baby is just new and light, it’s easy to nurse a newborn baby across the chest on top of the tummy bulge left over from pregnancy while feeding the baby this product, and as the child grows and the bulge wanes away, the toddler can lie beside the mum fitting snugly into the hourglass shape of her body… the child is soothed into peaceful rest and the mum gets a much-needed rest as well.

This is the most bizarre scientific fact about this product of all… the mere act of feeding a toddler this product will also benefit the mother (and others around her). This is how:

- the hormones stimulated while feeding the toddler help a mother get relief from stress, reducing anxiety, and to even fall asleep for daytime naps (which are medically recommended around the world)
- making the effort to source this product helps prevent cancer or hormonal imbalances on the mother
- it helps the mother and father with contraception and our society with population control – without operations, medication or other chemical-based drug interventions that are increasingly bring known to contribute to hormonal diseases and cancers (but also put $$ in the pockets of pharmaceutical companies and hospitals)
- it’s like a happy pill for parents, because in addition to seeing the child become happier, the mum literally gets a flush of endorphins and a total regenerative energy boost through the whole body, which helps spread good vibes everywhere.

So here I am, telling you all about this product, and I bet mums everywhere are going to start asking me where they can buy it? It might not be available to everyone due to their personal circumstances, and unfortunately some mums desperately want it but just can’t get their hands on it.

Is it derived from plants? No. Is it produced in a lab? No.

It is the safest, most natural remedy created within a mum’s own body. It is normal, and it is perfect. It doesn’t have to be used all the time. Mum’s can return to work and still keep it. Everyone can be a winner.

It is a gift and it is our right to accept it.

This week, world Breastfeeding awareness week, there has been a fair deal of of cyber bullying surrounding Breastfeeding older babies and toddlers. I wonder if these people know how Breastfeeding can serve them, as a member of society? If every person can tolerate seeing this beautiful process between mother and child just once every now and then, it will serve the world good. We will raise a healthier generation and improve the health of this current generation. It is important. Embracing Breastfeeding of toddlers may be the most chivalrous thing an adult, who is seriously challenged by the concept, can do.

Please share this post and help educate the masses of Facebook users. It’s never too late to understand the benefits of Breastfeeding toddlers and to believe it is doing good for us all.

Happy Breastfeeding Week to all toddlers every where – drink up, you deserve to be healthy and happy within your mothers’ arms, you gorgeous little angels.

For any mothers who want to extend their Breastfeeding into the toddler years, but are struggling physically, emotionally or socially (peer pressure), please make sure to talk to someone about your feelings. Peer pressure surrounding Breastfeeding my toddler contributed to my post-natal anxiety (and near depression).

I learned how to rise above parenting peer-pressure and stand strong and healthy, and I now know how every mum can do this naturally. I passionately believe in this cause and have built this page, my website and blog, and my business for this reason.

Life is good!!

‘It’s ok, mum. You’re learning. So am I.’  – Master 4.

I tell my little boy that I’m learning how to be the most beautiful happy version of me, in the same way that he is learning how to be his best, most beautiful version of himself, and that we are both learning how to be caring, kind and helpful to one another. ‘We are both learning how to live happily with each other,’ I say.

Like most other people I know, as a child I was taught to do everything adults told me without question. Not only did this teach me to become the adult that must always be right, but I lived years of insecurity, compromised self-identity and self-confidence. I learned that by doing what an adult told me and repeating what an adult taught me, or by copying the behavior of the respected adults around me, I was good, acceptable, loveable and worthy. Weren’t we all?

Adults rarely admit they have made a mistake. That would jeopardize their authority status.

I’ve never been comfortable with an authority role in my own parent-child relationship. I have chosen to live truthfully – the truth is, I have never experienced any particular moment before. My moments aren’t any more special, or superior, than my children’s moments. Every moment is unique and wonderful and is an experience that can’t be repeated exactly. I am grateful for every single moment. I am a learning parent, and I will be for every future moment.

To act like I’m not learning, and to think I’m unable to change my position on a parenting issue, is contrary to nature. We are all learning every day, and we are all the scientists of our own lives. We are here to explore, learn, experience and reach full empowerment, and to (bit-by-bit) discover how to live the happiest, most fulfilling life that we can possibly create with our very own power.

So to act like I am always right and that my children must do as I say … without ever thinking I was ever learning myself … flies in the face of living the truth. I am learning every day, along with my children.

It made me smile when my son said to me last week that he knows everything. When I replied that he has lots to learn, he said, ‘well, YOU know everything. You can teach me everything.’ I disagreed with that, too! I explained that I’m learning along with him, and the whole fun in living life is to keep on learning, and that some philosophers have said that ‘when we stop learning, we die.’ His reply to me was, ‘yup. I already knew that.’ Bless him!

One of our favourite tv series to watch together is Dinotopia, and a scene I personally love is where the people ride on the back of the Brachiosaurus as a mode of transport. When a leading character assumes that the tame dinosaurs deserve no better than to be ordered around by the humans, he is corrected by the future Matriarch. She says, ‘on the contrary, humans can learn a lot from the dinosaurs – for example, we can learn humility‘. Putting aside our own pride, status, priorities, personal intentions and need to succeed to help another travel their own personal path, no matter how self-deprecating it is, is true humility. And I feel it is something we are not taught to do in our society.

Instead many of us have been taught (and continue to be taught by each other, not at all deliberately but perhaps a tiny bit naively), to be defensive, ‘right’, critical of each other, labeling, unapologetic, power-seeking and proud. In typical daily life, we can be intolerant of each other, impatient, and we can really lack sensitivity and empathy in our daily quest to be ‘human doings’. Do, do and do some more, don’t let another person’s emotional needs slow us down, and give praise to ourselves time and time again for how much we accomplish by doing, doing, and doing some more.

Now I’ll tell a story of my own humility in the hope of sharing a lesson I learned. Once, when  my son started reflecting on a few incidents that had hurt him, and started crying while thinking about it, I immediately sighed and thought,’why does he do this? Why does he bring up things from the past and make himself cry?’ It was mood-dampening and I didn’t feel like having a teary conversation, seeing we were having a good day and on our way to the park to have more fun with friends. Thoughts ran through my head like, ‘he has such highs and lows, when he is high he is bursting with excitement and physically jiggles and wiggles, and then he has lows where he cries, maybe I should be worried, maybe he is wrong to do that, maybe I’m over evaluating, but maybe a health specialist would call it bipolar or something…’ All the while admiring him for his honesty and being in awe of his childhood innocence and expressiveness.

I urged him to cheer up and stop making himself sad thinking about it. He kept sobbing. Eventually I got cross and told him to cheer up. ‘Stop thinking about things that make you sad!’ I ordered. It was because he quickly went quiet, and meekly said, ‘ok mummy’, that I realised my massive mistake.

I am always thinking and reflecting on what happened to me yesterday, ten minutes ago, one year ago, twenty years ago, as a way to build my senses for what I like and do not like in this world. I revisit events in my imagination and validate my feelings on the experience, and come to conclusions about how I’ll deal with similar situations in future. We all do. I have learned to do this in my mind or in civil conversations with others – and to control child-like expressive emotions like crying out loud – but I definitely do it. And yet I ordered my son to stop because as a parent, it was frustrating to not be able to control his mood.

It is very normal that when a child reaches age 4, and can communicate freely, that he starts to repeat what he has heard, seen, experienced, to validate what has happened and to learn (and validate his intuition) on whether it’s good or bad.

I felt uneasy with the way I had shut him down. I had just taught him to suppress his emotions, to ignore his need to validate the world and his place in it. I had taught him to follow my orders, and I had missed an opportunity to teach him that he is, actually, safe in his world. It was quiet in the car, but I pepped up. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, with a quivery voice. It was then I noticed how hard it can be to say sorry to a small child who depended on me being right. ‘It was wrong of me to tell you to stop feeling sad. You are entitled to feel sad, to talk and to cry. I’m here for you, and I’m listening.’ (This is, in fact, what I wish I had heard many times in my life – and this is how I would like to be spoken to now when I’m unsure if my feelings.) ‘I’m learning too,’ I said.

He was so grateful. He finished explaining what had upset him, I validated his experience and repeated his feelings back to him, and he cheered up.

And the biggest lesson for both of us was that it’s ok to say ‘I’m learning, too’ and to be honest, humble, even humiliated, because sometimes it’s the way to better connection, happiness, and love.

We are taught to say we are learning in schools, however schools focus on the left side (intellectual) side of the brain. We are taught less – if at all – to openly say we are learning emotionally… and to allow ourselves to study, test, review and develop concepts relating to our creativity, intuition, energetic connections, and heart-based thinking. This is why I am now passionately writing material for my School For Living Life courses, specifically for increasing vibrational energies – namely, parenting energy and kinder energy, and for claiming your power in your life. Stay tuned and please visit my pages often.

I’ll leave you now with words from My Connection To Source on this topic.

“When you are in power of your life, you  have no need to seek order and control over another’s life. Simple enjoyment and fulfillment is all that you seek.” – Words channeled by my connection to Source (Joanna Becker)

With love,

Joanna

Our little boy is not his usual self, with 4 teeth (2 eye teeth and the 2 teeth directly below) cutting skin.

He has the regular symptoms – nursing frequently, crying out in pain, sleeping lightly, and off food – except for passionfruit. Passionfruit, he is throwing back by the dozen.

I love that he can get relief from a natural fruit that is relieving for the gums because of its natural properties. Thank you nature! The soft sweet gel is means there is no chewing. Passionfruit keeps up his energy and blood-sugar, and at the same time boosts his immunity with the high concentrations of vitamin C.

It’s of little wonder he is drawn to this beautiful fruit, when the passionfruit flower (and the fruit itself) have traces of elements that sedate, calm and reduce inflammation. Used traditionally in tribes to settle hyperactive or aggravated children, and even to induce sleep, passion fruit flower can settle a child enough to help them fall asleep peacefully. A perfect teething aid, along with chamomile (our other ‘go-to’ for teething). More info on the benefits of passion fruit for toddlers, check out this link.

Maxie teething photo

Last week I posted this information to my followers on Facebook and their enthusiasm for trying this natural alternative was exciting. And yet I have a teething ‘fixer’ that is even more powerful than passion fruit or chamomile put together … woo hoo!

‘What is it’, you ask?

Back in the seventies, scientists ‘formally’ discovered a source of natural pain relief that was recorded as 200 times more powerful than morphine. It was (and continues to be) this: the decreased firing rate of neurons in the central nervous system, brought about by opiate molecules locking onto special receptor sites of neurons in the central nervous system. This activity of opiates, and decreased firing rate of neurons, immediately decreases pain.

There is a more commonly known name for this activity, and it starts with an ‘E’ …

ENDORPHINS. Yay! we all know the number 1 way to release endorphins, don’t we?

It is to SMILE. To LAUGH. To feel good and to do things that make you happy.

So my number one priority when my little one is in teething pain is naturally, to help him feel happy by releasing endorphins.

I tickle him to bits. I chase him and tackle him and blow raspberries on his tummy. I get him to have a good giggle, and because it’s so irresistible and makes me laugh really hard, I make him giggle some more. I swear I can see the pain erasing from that little body of his while I do it.

Pain and the fear of pain creates more pain for all of us. Therefore it’s important to not talk about teething being such a bad thing in front of our little children. Instead, help them feel safe, and help them focus on the things that they love and the activities that release endorphins. Keep the mood light and positive. Get into the sunshine and play. Prevent accidents. Dance. Sing songs. Move your bodies. Increase the love between the family with lots of touch, cuddles, kisses and nursing. Speak nicely and lovingly to one another. Be silly and turn everything into silly business. Don’t reach for the medicated teething gel … get your hands onto your baby and tickle and cuddle!

Because that old saying ‘Laughter is the best medicine’ is not just a saying – it’s a scientific truth.

With love,

Joanna

 

 

 

Make-up-free May

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(Image caption: this little guy loves me just as I am, and he knows me best).

Last year I had an adventure of sorts – an internal adventure. I survived one whole month without a smudge or pin-prick of make-up.

Going without cosmetics for a month was a true challenge for me. This career girl turned new mum, who was so accustomed to dressing up at the start of every day, now had a 5 minute void in front of the mirror every morning! Don’t get me wrong, I was never a big makeup wearer… just a little concealer, clear lip balm and mascara – but I certainly had to have my fix, my ‘preparation for the day’, my natural image unnaturally adjusted, to help me feel worthy of being a decent person and maintaining respect from my peers.

I loved my month of freedom!
Forcing myself to dress and leave the house with a different routine and using different techniques in presentation (different clothes and jewellery, for example), gave me opportunities to think and change habits for the better. I learned things about myself that I never would have had the chance to, had I carried on normally, wearing make-up, that month.

What happened to me?
I felt emotions, delved into my insecurities and inner beliefs, and had the chance to explore and change the respect I had for myself and my own identity. I had some very helpful and interesting conversations with friends and strangers. I also had a chance to see my true reflection and how damaged my body and skin were becoming from concealer and other chemicals. I saw my skin, teeth and eyes improve when I used alternative natural methods, and I had a great time trying natural home-made remedies, like essential oils and aloe-vera. It was a journey that I could only go on with myself, and the lessons were personal. I urge you to take yourself on this journey, too.

Some common reasons we wear make-up everyday are:

- to show that we take pride in our appearance
– to transform our identity
– to cover up scarring and imperfections
– to meet social expectations for tidy and attractive womanly style
– to look healthier than we actually are
-… (Feel free to comment below if you think of a different reason)

Don’t you agree that it’s ODD that women are taught to take pride in their appearance, and feel socially accepted, only AFTER they have decorated themselves and covered up their authentic image? Surely taking pride in our appearance means we can say, ‘I love me and I love who I am’, with or without make-up?

If like me, you have to cover up your skin, what else are you in the habit of covering up in order to be socially accepted? Are we being honest with ourselves? Physically, emotionally, spiritually, what can a daily make-up habit tell us about who we are and how we feel about ourselves? (Or maybe it’s just me who has deep and dark secrets to cover up, hey :)

As a side-note, if you search ‘No make-up’ in Google, you will be shocked at how we are taught to ridicule authentic image. Look at all the stories about celebrities. This kind of ridicule causes insecurity for women everywhere. As usual, the media has a lot to answer for. Why don’t we start to reverse the damage now? We CAN do this.

Makeup-free May has arrived!
By the 20th day of this month, once again, I will have ditched the cosmetics to opt for the ultimate natural alternative – raw skin. Will you join me?

Those who do will not be not only liberating themselves, but giving others permission to do so. It’s a truly positive experience and the further this reaches the better. Collectively we will be improving self-worth of women and encouraging that we take pride in our true, perhaps fragile, but always unique and very special identities.

I am starting straight away.
First, I need to reverse the damage that wearing concealer (albeit a mineral healthy product) and not eating skin-nourishing foods has done to me in the last few months. My skin is terrible right now. Everyday from now, I’ll be having 2 fresh juices or smoothies per day (parsley and kale especially), cutting those last remaining toxins and refined sugars out of my diet (bye bye, cafe chai latte from syrup, and hello chia seeds and fresh vegetables), and asking myself what it is about my image that I’m struggling with right now (good thing I’ve taken up a daily meditation practice to help me find clarity and answers).

If you’re in Brisbane on the 17th May, make sure to come to HAPPY IS HEALTHY Day, where I will have a stall with books/DVDS and other good things to inspire, motivate and support all the beautiful people out there in pro-active wellness, including a DVD talking about image and skin wellness specifically. I’ll be presenting at 11am, and there’ll be dozens of other guest speakers and stalls with powerful, transformational mind/body wellness information to share. To find me, look for the stand called POSITIVE, HEALTHY, NATURALLY.

Join now
Let me know if you will join Makeup-Free May by replying to this thread or comment on the Parenting Energy Facebook page. Up to and during this period, make sure you promote to your friends and family and colleagues that you are going without cosmetics for a GOOD CAUSE – to generate support for healthy skin, healthy body image and healthy minds. And invite as many people as you can to join in!

Have fun with it… I know I did last year and I will again this year. It’s a time to get creative with natural appearance and feel proud of your true self, and to see just how radiant you can be with healthy mind and diet too, of course. If you need to talk, you know where to find me.

And if you’re feeling really brave, take a really raw selfie now like I have so you have BEFORE and AFTER shots. I can guarantee the AFTER shots will be so much better, even if it’s just because of the way you feel. (I also guarantee your selfie will be way better than mine! Now, sharing that shot is embarrassing.)

Love to all of you gorgeous, special friends,

Joanna

Happy is Healthy Day Information Website: http://www.happyishealthy.com.au

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This is what happened. I took my boys (4yo and 1yo) to the supermarket – very brave, I know. You already know how I feel about the supermarket, and our food/shopping ethics … And yet today I felt drawn there as an adventure. 4yo was superb, sitting in the trolley the whole time, rarely saying a word. 1yo was on foot, trotting backwards and forwards pointing his quirky little 1-finger point, waving, talking and charming. I grabbed them hot chicken winglets on the way in, dissapointed when I opened the box to find bright orange crumbed nuggets. Colours, additives, a big experience for any 1yo. Anyway he ate them up and got more and more excited and enthusiastic about running away from me.

I soon had a trolley full of nappy boxes, tinned tomatoes, pasta and frozen seafood, and both boys were out on floor to walk. Payment done, supermarket visit successful! I visited the gourmet green grocer for a couple of extras and the boys were pretty over it by now, both on foot and exploring in different directions. A lady in queue scoffed and waved her finger at my 4yo, who was walking laps of one aisle, singing to himself, and my 1yo in my arms wiggling and trying to get free. This is what she said:

“I don’t know why you young women don’t use harnesses these days. Back in my day all children were tied to their parents and they stayed with their parents at all times. None of this unruly, wild behaviour you see everywhere now.

She left and the check out assistant told me that the woman was a doctor.

Ok, so there are a million come-backs I’m now coming up with. I wouldn’t have called her an older lady before, but now she has put the idea in my head with all this ‘In my day’ talk. Let’s see, ‘in your day grocery shopping wasn’t so stimulating for children – with bright lights, toys, flashing LCD Screen advertisements, music, trolleys and escalators etc’, and, ‘in your day fresh hot food wasn’t tarnished with additives, colours, flavours like they are now, which we know is directly related to ADHD and behavioral issues,’ and, ‘Really? It’s a normal developmental phase for a 1yo to explore his environment through movement and touching, as you would know, doctor’, but I settled with…

“I can tell you where to stick it, lady…”

No just kidding. I brushed her with a random reply, a laugh and with cheeks a bit rosy, of course – as most of us do.

It’s a default reaction for all of us, when criticized, to start thinking and let the thoughts snowball. I went off to the car with my thoughts running over what she said. My physical reaction was to rummage through bags and grab sweet food to binge on. I felt tempted to smack my 1yo for continuing to wriggle and scream, resisting that action knowing it was my rattled nerves driving the urge.

Unruly, wild behaviour.

And then I caught myself.

I have been taught how to recognize the ‘indicating’ physical symptoms of emotional issues that needs to be dealt with. I knew, then and there, that I was responding and dealing in the typical way I usually do and there must be something beneath the surface. Blushing and laughing – check. Binge eating sweets – check. Feeling frustrated with kids – check. Smacking is something that I still haven’t done and don’t want to do yet – the urge to is my ‘red light flag’ that I’m not coping.

Stuck in my own head and consumed in thought about all my possible come-backs – check. Grimace on my face – check. In a hurry to escape – check, check. Ok girl, it’s time to break this down.

In spiritual counseling we learn that if something somebody has said gets a reaction from you, it’s because it either:

(A) is something you feel is true and yet you aren’t acknowledging

(B) is something you would probably say or do yourself

So I had my two options to explore. I realised in this case, it was probably a bit of (A) and (B). So then the question – why would I be sensitive to this sort of thing, do I judge other parents and classify their kids as wild or unruly, and look at mine with this judgement, too? Well that’s a hard one – I guess I might in certain circumstances beneath the surface. So then the question – whose standards am I judging myself and others against? Are they my standards or something I was taught? And you probably already know the answer to this – I am judging myself according to high standards carried over from my own childhood experiences. Not necessarily my own personal standards.

After this it’s easy to move forward. I know I’m being hard on myself, and others, because I’m afraid of not being good enough or reaching a standard. That old woman showed me what I need to let go of. A lot of the time instances like mine today, which are a really good reason to go and find a friend and have a whine or a vent on Facebook or blog, are the exact opportunities we need to become a happier and peaceful person.

Because we create our realities, and I brought that woman into my life today. Maybe I can wish for her, that one day, she will figure out why she has the need to criticise a younger mum and her beautiful children in the grocery store. But I’m pretty happy with what she has reminded me of today.

If you notice yourself repeatedly re-living incidents like this and having a whine, vent with friends, or you notice yourself often making ‘conversation about another person’ and you want to find peace and love yourself and everyone around you (believe me, it can be done), then you might like my website and self-paced courses in self-healing and life creativity, at https://parentingenergy.com.au/

Because once we deal with underlying emotional insecurities, they are no longer necessary in our lives and incidents like this, and people like this, just dissapear. It might seem more obvious to just ‘get over it and forget it’ – however repeating emotional insecurities can eventually change our physical body and result in ‘diagnosable’ conditions.

Healing and preventing future dis-ease is as simple as listening to your thoughts now.

I’ll leave you with advice by Myste, specially given to me for this topic:

We can ask ourselves, “what has been said to us that was so bad? And what was so bad about that?” Then get deep into that feeling of what is so bad, let it be felt, and nurture the inner-child.

As in my case, sometimes you just end up laughing! I mean, what is wild and unruly anyway?

“You are enough, and you are loved. You deserve to let this go.”

Talk soon, take care.

Joanna

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